Confession: I have issues
For a blogger, I don’t really share much about myself. I realize this now, after reading through a few others’ blogs, and seeing them really open up to their readers about some fairly personal subjects. By comparison, mine looks like just a lot of fluff. I mean, what do you guys really know about me? You know I love my cats. You know I love eating, and movies, and television, and music. You know I moved from Oklahoma to New York, but do you know why?
I feel like I’m being dishonest on this blog, and I just can’t do that anymore. Don’t get me wrong, that fluff is me, usually. The yummy recipes, the cute little lists I make, that’s all me. But that’s just the surface, the little innocent sweetheart I project to those who don’t know me. I really need to ask myself why I started this blog. Well, duh, as an outlet for thoughts and emotions that I wouldn’t normally be able to share! But I haven’t done any of that yet. I don’t feel like I’ve really found my “voice” yet as a writer, or figured out what I want to say. There are pieces of myself that I haven’t worked up the courage to publish on the internet, and I would like to work up to that.
As a teenager I started journaling. I could sit for hours, working out my feelings. Somehow putting them on paper, and reading them back to myself made me understand them so much better. But as I got older, I stopped doing that. It seemed childish for some reason. Unfortunately, when I stopped journaling, I really didn’t know what to do with tough emotions I was feeling. Without anywhere to put them, they usually just festered inside me.
Luckily, along the way I had a few really good friends, with really good advice and understanding. But even then, I couldn’t burden them with the full extent of my crazy, their poor hearts couldn’t take it! So still, I was left to sort things out for myself, and I would like to think I did okay. I mean, atleast I didn’t go full on psychotic, and the issues I have are nothing a few good years of therapy can’t resolve.
I guess what I am getting at, is that I would like to start letting you guys in on my “real life”. I mean, it won’t be all my drama, all the time, but I think making a little confession to the internet gods every now and again will be quite beneficial. I have problems just like everybody else, and I would like to use this blog as I had originally intended; an outlet. Strap yourself in folks, and get ready for the ride!
-Michele
Tags: about me, confessions, issues, traumatic
My name is Michele. I’m 25 living in Schenectady, NY with my boyfriend Chris and our three fur-babies. I hate “about me”s unless they’re about someone else, so go 
You know… everybody is a little different. Some open up easily and then there are others who take time. If you feel that it is time to open up and let people start getting to know you, you will be amazed at the people that come along and hold your hand for the ride. The great thing about being a writer and a blogger is the outstanding support you have along the way!
Thanks Stacy! I feel like that’s kind of what’s been holding me back. I haven’t been being as honest with myself/my blog as I would like to.
I have a feeling this post might be because of me lol I’ve always been okay with sharing my personal life to anyone with eyes and ears but that’s just me. It does feel a bit better to put it out in the open though, especially when you realize that what you were harboring wasn’t as detrimental as you first thought!
Good luck with the new focus for your blog…I’m sure it will be great. I think no matter what you write about — if you put your heart into it — you’ll get a lot out of it, as will your readers. I think all writers take a while until they find their true “voice” and you are no different. When you find yours, we’ll all be here to listen and read!
It is hard sometimes to open up and when I was younger I too was more quiet and reserved. As I got older, I became more extroverted and found I can share a bit easier. That said, I am the type that lays it all out warts and all, but that isn’t for everyone. I think you just have to do what feels comfortable for you and do what makes you feel right at the end of the day if that makes sense. This is your own space, so you can say or do pretty much whatever and you will find (at least I have) that the blogging community is very kind and even amazingly supportive of each other.
Yes Amy, you were definitely one of the blogs I was thinking of! I think that’s really how I’ll feel. It’ll be cathartic, and then it’ll be like “wow that wasn’t so bad after all”.
Thanks Emily, that means so much to me!
Thanks Janine! I know that to be true, because I’ve seen and even been the support for other bloggers. I am not sure what’s been holding me back, but here’s to hoping I can work through it!
I really love reading the honest, open, sometimes brutal side of a blogger. I feel like it’s there, in the raw and vulnerable details, that we can really connect and get to know one another. I say, share what you feel comfortable with, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. This is your blog, your space to be who you are.
[...] some sort of connection, and I fear running possible friends off with my insanity. Who knows? But it’s something I am working on. I’m working towards being more open and honest with my feelings regardless of the [...]